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Family and Life
by Tim Snyder
from Clearly Caring, Fourth Quarter 2009 issue
Then
Nathan said to David, "You are the man!" (2 Samuel 12:7)
The
sordid account of King David and Bathsheba is a familiar one (1 Samuel
11 and 12). In the aftermath God sent the prophet Nathan to King David
on a rescue mission. Nathan called the king to repentance and, by God's
grace, the mission was a success.
If a brother sins, rebuke hin,
and if he repents, forgive him. (Luke 17:3)
Like
Nathan, we are to speak out in love when we see a fellow Christian
tangled up in sin. It can be a difficult task, especially if it
involves a family member.
No
Christian family is free from the effects of sin. It may be brother Joe
who decides to move in with his girlfriend, or cousin Jane who gets
pregnant and has an abortion, or nephew Bill who is carrying on in a
homosexual relationship. We need to be like the prophet Nathan, but how
do we carry out a rescue mission? We simply speak God's law and
proclaim his Gospel.
Joe needs
to hear the law. Like many in our society, he doesn't see the need to
be married. He and his girlfriend are in a committed relationship.
Isn't that enough? Only through the mirror of the law will Joe see his
sin.
"The law
is a mirror." That reminds us of cathechism class. But Joe's situation
is real life, not a classroom. How do we approach it? The prophet
Nathan told a story. It was simply a thinly-disguised account of
David's sin, but it was just the thing to prick David's conscience.
Nathan's example teaches us to find ways to overcome barriers. Simply
barging in and accusing a person of sin may only result in a quick
ticket back out. To be sure, none of us are Old Testament prophets who
come with a direct revelation from God, but we've been asked to deal
with an erring brother or sister with love. Preaching the law can be as
simple at sitting down with someone and lovingly using our own words.
Finally, like Nathan, we may have to speak bluntly: "You are the man!"
The law
has done its job when it crushes our sinful hearts and brings us to our
knees, but it's not the last word.
So the law was put in charge to
lead us to Christ so that we might be justified by faith. (Galatians
3:24)
Convicted
by his sin, now Joe needs to hear the gospel. And so does cousin Jane.
She has been overwhelmed with guilt since the abortion. She doesn't
think God can forgive such horrible sin. Preaching law to her will only
deepen her despair. Jane needs the promises of the gospel, not the
demands of the law. Our approach must mimic the Apostle Paul's:
I resolved to know nothing while
I was with you except Jesus Christ and him crucified. (1 Corinthians
2:2)
The
gospel is God's love in action. It's big, beautiful and powerful. It's
God's Son voluntarily stepping in front of a runaway freight train on
our behalf. We rightly should have been obliterated by the locomotive
of the Almighty's righteous hatred of sin. Instead, both God's love and
justice are present on Calvary's cross. What a joy to tell someone that
God loves them and forgives them completely, no matter what they've
done!
When we
speak to the sinner we dare not mix law and gospel but, can we lead
with the gospel? In Jouh chapter 4, Jesus provides a lesson on
overcoming barriers:
Jesus knew this woman was living
in a sinful relationship, but instead of blasting her with God's law,
he held out hope. He said, "If you knew the gift of God and who it is
that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have
given you living water." (John 4:10) It's striking that Jesus didn't
begin with the law but with the gospel... Jesus instilled in this woman
a desire for living water. But before he could give it to her, he had
to deal with her sin... Jesus didn't tiptoe around the issue. He
addressed it directly. Be spoke to a sinner about her sin. And through
his words the woman saw her sin."
John D. Schuetze, Marriage and
Family, Northwestern Publishing House
Hopefully
this brief article will provide encouragement as we deal with a wayward
family member. We have barely scratched the surface, and this is not
intended as a comprehensive how-to but simply a reminder to speak in
love. A few important points to remember:
- Be in the Word. The Word and Sacrament are the means the Holy Spirit uses to produce renewal in us.
- Seek forgiveness. We can't effectively deal with the sins of others until we attend to our own need for forgiveness.
- Be bold. God will bless our efforts. His law and gospel will not return empty but accomplish his purpose.
For
we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works,
which God prepared in advance for us to do. (Ephesians 2:10).
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